I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
