You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
