You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I wanna bring you to show and tell
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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