The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
My bed smells like the plague
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
