Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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