did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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