Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
