To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
