Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
