The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
