barbara walters just said penis...
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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