I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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