it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
