even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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