I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
