My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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