you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
