I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
