in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
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