drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
