I can text with my tongue
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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