i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
