We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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