But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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