so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
