He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
