remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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