Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
