I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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