Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
