I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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