im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
