Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
