Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
