He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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