he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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