spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I lost the right to judge tonight
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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