Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
