I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
