so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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