Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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