No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
