You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
