I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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