My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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