I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I think I sprained my soul last night
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
