There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
