Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
