Having a random hookup so left but love u
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
no, he came in my armpit
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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