Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
