Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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