Just fell off a train. Bad.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
